Sometimes the strategies you’re using to deal with pent-up anger on your own aren’t working and you need to reach out for professional help. Bash explained that quite often, music, painting, dancing, or writing can be great tools to express emotions that can be difficult or intense. One way of learning how to manage anger in a healthy way is through a creative art outlet. It’s a good idea to practice this when you’re calm so you know how to do it when you need it the most. Think of this as slow, deep belly breathing. One strategy to try involves using focused breathing. If you can train yourself to slow down and practice deep breathing, you’re more likely to release some of the anger you’re experiencing. This mental shift helps you slow down your thoughts, tap into logic, and, ultimately, change your demands into requests. When dealing with anger, psychologists often use a method called cognitive restructuring that encourages you to replace negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. You’ll also get the added bonus of doing something good for your health. Whether you’re pounding the pavement on a five-mile run, biking through the woods, or pushing some weight around at the gym, moving your body can help you decompress, reduce stress, and burn off any extra tension you’re dealing with. Physical activity is an excellent strategy for dealing with anger. While permanently distancing yourself may not be an option, even a temporary break from the trigger can help you cope with pent-up anger. By creating physical distance between yourself and the person or situation that’s triggering your anger, you can get the space you need to calm down and move forward. Sometimes a change in environment is enough to help prevent feelings of anger from being repressed. Here are a few strategies you can do on your own: Change your environment The good news is there are a variety of ways to learn how you can prevent this type of anger from building up in your daily life. Learning how to prevent and manage pent-up anger can help you develop new strategies for dealing with frustration, hurt, and, ultimately, the anger that occurs as a result of these situations. While anger is a valid emotion, Moore said most of the time it doesn’t serve us or help us to hold onto it. When this happens, the anger is allowed to simmer internally, resulting in pent-up anger. What all of these situations have in common is an experience of anger without expressing or coping with the feelings. “Instead of feeling vulnerable to the pain of feeling the hurt, they instead feel anger and often feel a desire to hurt others,” explained Moore.Īlso, Moore said depression and anxiety are examples of unexpressed anger, because anger turned inward often results in self-hatred, which causes depression. Some people may also experience anger when they’re hurt. While the triggers for each person may vary, Moore said there are some common causes of pent-up anger, such as feeling unheard or unappreciated, lack of acceptance of a situation, or unmet needs. If you’ve ever experienced past anger or been around someone who is dealing with it, you might be wondering what causes these extreme feelings that can take over your body and mind.Īccording to Kathryn Moore, PhD, a psychologist at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center, pent-up anger can occur as:
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